Sunday, May 30, 2010
Welcome to the Gun Show!
Here's one of my guns! I've been showing them off all week. I'm pretty proud! Sorry, I know it's silly, but I think they're fun. :c)
I hit another major milestone this week, I'm down to 205 pounds, which means that I've lost 81 pounds. It doesn't feel real to me sometimes.
I have these conflicting images of myself in my head right now. I know that I'm not the morbidly obese person I was, who struggled to fit into restaurant booths and tried her best to hide and be as unnoticeable as possible, but that girl is still stuck in my head, looking out through my eyes, and is surprised at the reflection in the mirror. I feel like my face is constantly changing. My mom said the other day that my teeth look bigger now. It's a strange land to be in, I can tell you that.
Adding to the strangeness is clothes shopping. Like a magnet, I am drawn to the plus-size clothes. I have to keep telling myself that I don't need to look there anymore. I dreamed and dreamed of the day when I wouldn't have to shop at Lane Bryant again. It's odd to not belong there. I don't want to say that I miss it, but it is strange. There are so many things in my life that have changed since January.
This week I was talking to someone about just what kind of changes have happened in my life since I started losing weight. One of the first things to go was watching television and using the internet for hours on end. I spent inordinate amounts of time doing both, now I maybe use the internet for an hour or two during the week, and really never watch t.v. period. I used to stay up late for no reason at all, sometimes staying up until 1 or 2 in the morning despite having to work the next day. Those days are long gone. I go to bed at 10 most nights, even weekends, and get up between 5 and 6, again even on the weekend. I eat slower now, I just ate without really thinking or enjoying it before. Now I take my time, chewing and taking smaller bites.
Enough of that for now!
The boot camp competition was moved to this coming Friday, so I have an extra week to work on my skills. I'm pretty stoked for Friday! I can use all the positive thoughts I can get this week, so send them my way!
I am chasing down 200 pounds, and can't wait to get there. As strange and fast as this weight loss thing has been this time around, I am so glad that I'm here, that I'm doing it, and that I'm being successful. I feel like I've been helped on so many fronts, that I know now is my time. Thanks and have a great week!