Sunday, June 20, 2010

Ah, Temptation

Well, this week has been a bit, well, I don't even know how to succinctly describe it. I have been both successful and unsuccessful. Let's dive in, shall we?

First, the good news. I am now fitting in to size 14's. Pretty darn exciting. It keeps Mom busy and the Goodwill in business. :c) I am wearing mostly size large shirts. That is weird for me. I truly don't think of myself that way. I think probably most people have a distorted view of themselves. For example, whenever I've seen a picture of myself, I've never thought it has looked like me. I think that all goes down to self-perception. Now, instead of thinking I'm smaller than I really am, I think I'm larger than I really am. I'm sure I'll get used to it!

One of my goals for the week was to run longer than one mile. On Monday, I ran a mile and a half in 14.45 minutes. That was really exciting. Then, on Thursday, Scott and I went running at the cemetery. We ran two miles without stopping. It took us about 23 minutes. We were both pretty jazzed. There's this part of the route that slopes downward. We call it the "Superhero Part". It was very awesome!

I have been up visiting my sister since Wednesday. I planned and prepared to try to stay on track as much as possible, with varying degrees of success and failure. Let's discuss exercise, shall we? There's a community rec center near Nell's house that I found I could go to. I went both Thursday and Friday. On Friday they had a boot camp class, which was interesting. It was different than what I am used to. It was more of an aerobics class, which was fine, but I like a bit more of a challenge. There's also one tomorrow morning, so I'll go to that.

Now, the bad exercise news. I went to the grocery store yesterday afternoon to get ingredients for Trevor's celebratory dinner (he did the Ragnar Relay ultra-style. I totally want to do that relay next year, but NOT ultra). While approaching the building, I tripped over the curb and biffed it in the parking lot. Besides being completely embarrassing (people got out of their cars and ran over and everything), it hurt! I scraped up both of my knees and gave one of my knees a hard enough knock that it's now swollen. Bleh. Scott and I had to cancel our run last night. I have been praying that it heals quickly!

Ah, food. Here's where most of my struggle has been. The best way to test someone on whether they've learned something or not is to take them out of the controlled environment and try them in the real world. Let's just say I've not passed that test up here out of my tightly controlled world at home. I packed food with the intention to maintain as normal an eating regimen as possible. That pretty much went out the window when we decided to go a restaurant called "5 Guys". It's a burger joint. YUMMY. That's where it began. Has it stopped, nope. I have been eating my virtuous breakfast and lunch, but by dinner it's all out the door. Last night we had burritos and chips with queso dip. I so did not resist temptation last night. Nor did I say no to the rootbeer float on Friday. I feel like the old Sarah is back in charge. Kindof a Jekyll and Hyde sort of deal. Needless to say, I didn't reach 200 pounds this week.

I know that you can't be on 100% of the time. Heaven knows that I know that. I feel like I failed this weekend though. My sister says that I've just been normal, but normal for me is not ok. The "normal" Sarah is the one who ate her way to nearly 300 pounds. I am ready to move on. It's scary to have that Sarah back in my life. I am ready to get rid of that mentality completely. I feel like an alcoholic that's been on a bender. Time to get back to reality...


  1. Sarah, I cannot tell you how much this blog means to me. You are an inspiration to me in so many ways. THANK YOU!!! Keep on going girl b/c I need you to keep looking up to so that I don't keep falling off the wagon. :) I know we weren't close in High School but through your blog I feel I've become a friend with you. Thank you for recording things like this so that I can see that I'm not the only one who struggles. :)

  2. Thanks so much Audrey! I am glad that I'm not the only one getting something out of this whole thing. Thanks for your words of encouragement! It truly means the world to me. Keep up the fight! We can do this!